When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
