she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
