I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
