I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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