this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
