My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
