areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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