I'm jealous of your bromance
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
