it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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