thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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