3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
