you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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