i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize