It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
