I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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