there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
