i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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