who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
