i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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