Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
