Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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