you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
