Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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