you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
