Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize