just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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