I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
