man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
