I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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