? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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