Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
