Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
