Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
