I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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