yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
it's like heaven, but drunker
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize