Where did you get a picture of my penis
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you never un-have a 4some
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
