My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
