Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
