All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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