I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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