You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize