Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
