I saw his package. It spoke to me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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