Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
