Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
