Can Purell be used as lube?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
