If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
