I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
