she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
