bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
