and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Boobs are out for the taking
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
