Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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