very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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