Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
