But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
