Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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