Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
