Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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