Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
