Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When did angry sex become our thing?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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