dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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