just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Sorry my hands just texted you
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
