I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
