Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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