Kiss
Puke
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
