No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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