You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't deserve a penis
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
