but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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