im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
