Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
